Now look, this is very easy:
- Go to Stanley's Homemade Polish Sausage on McDowell Rd in Phoenix.
- Approach the woman behind the counter and say "I'd like some bacon, please." Be firm, but polite. Do not risk losing your Stanley's privileges.
- Take the bacon home, remove the skin, and cook it.
- Eat it.
It's awesome. Meaty like ham. Not at all salty, not sweet, and nicely smoky. Buy more than you need because you'll eat more than you should.